Saturday, October 16, 2010

Awaken.

Hello!

I am a guai kia! No clubbing tonight! XD

Don't laugh! *hits head*



I have thought through.
For the past one month, being in a totally different environment has CHANGED me.
In my mentality, behavious, how I look at things in life and everything.

Changed to the extend that I want to break my bond and stay in UK.


Until today, after the skype session with my mum.
Was using skype to call home number though, since my bro always hog onto the lappy at home.

I told her that I need my IC so that I can prove my identity without having to bring my passport everywhere. I think it's quite stupid and lame to show my singapore passport in uk. Most importantly, is that I will stop forgetting to bring my passport when I club.

That's the point.

I want my IC so that I can club with an easier set of mind.
Don't know why, bringing my passport kinda bothers me haha.

But I just can't tell my mum I've been to clubs and all, can I?
NO.

Okay then nevermind, she managed to convince me that I don't need my IC.
Which I agree and lazy to convince her my way. HAHA.
(I lost.)

Next was the tough part.
Really difficult to tell her that I want to work in UK before going back to Singapore.
And that I want to break my bond and everything.

She did not give me a complete NO!
Instead, as usual, she tried to persuade me into waking up from my 'foolish thinking'.

I knew I'll get this response from her.
And I'm quite sad that my parents are hindering my career path.
Didn't have the mood to chat with her anymore.
I was really in a dilemma. Sigh.


Left home for shopping with serene.
I never shop la ok, I'm saving money :)

On the way to City Centre, I thought over and over again.
All the things that she said...
Suddenly I was awaken after linking up all her words.

Then I realised, the problem lies with me.
I've changed.

I am so freaking affected by my classmates, especially their wealth.

And I'm not joking when I say they are SUPER rich.
Like, out of my imagination kind.
Neither am I kidding when I say I feel that we singaporeans are like the poorest amongst all.
We come here because we are financially 'okay', and it's affordable for us.

I started to aspire to earn loads of money so that I can live the way they live.
I want to have an ang moh husband who is already so rich, plus handsome and tall and everything. And we'd just do the things that I thought I never will.
I wished that taking airplanes is like taking mrt.

But I woke up.



I thought of my family, my boyfriend, my initial plans before I come to Plymouth.

My mum who has been worried for me FOREVER, and hearing her sad voice hits me big.

My boyfriend, who trusts me 101%, allowing me to club with ang mohs in uk. I thought he must be crazy when he tells me I can even hug them :D

My plans of working, sailing with my husband, visiting the world, raising my kids, may or may not have my own career, doing a small little humble business...




The alarm will continue to ring in me.

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