En serio yo soy mierda!

I will miss myself laughing out loud like this. Okay I posed for this picture of course, but hmmm, have the feeling that I won't be too happy for the next five months :/ I fucked up my first coursework in fact. How I wish that I don't know the truth, I am so sad now though I didn't do badly. Sigh. Three more results waiting to be returned and I have the uneasy feeling. I put in alot of effort trying to understand wtf the whole research thing is talking about. And I actually managed to understand all of those look-like-cheem things. Then, my research topic is too different from the usual typical kinds, that it caught me off guard and I chose the wrong research method. Sigh. Ya, so turn one big round actually I don't quite understand what I'm doing :( The walk back home was an emo one.

.

It is so difficult for me to cry nowadays. I am well trained for 2 years plus, so now my heart is almost as hard as diamond, probably the value too (of the uncut ones LOL) I can feel my heart wrench, I can feel it weigh a tonne, I can feel it beating, and it still thumps when I get nervous. But why does it no longer send messages to my tear-glands?! Or maybe my tear glands too powderful already? Haha.

.

According to the internet, when we're upset our bodies will overreact and work overtime by producing extra chemicals and hormones. Crying helps to eliminate the excessive chemicals and hormones which we don't need through tears, and hence removing those emotioned chemicals and hormones from our bodies. So as you cry, you cry away your emotion! This includes sad, happy and stress hormones.

.

Okay now I can infer that my emotioned chemicals and hormones are living in slumps within my body, cos they don't get excreted off me so it's over-populated already. Then they probably die of epidemic-of-their-kind and decompose into my blood stream or become somewhere part of me? So I get more emotional every day.

.

Advice to all, I can get really emotional and my mood swings faster than the see-saw!

.

.

I actually like my old self.

Smile everyday everywhere to everyone.

Exhausted lifestyle yet accomplishing.

.

Now? I am working towards something that is not driving me towards it at all.

Lamborghini then, Cherry QQ now.